How many times have you heard people say that sexual compatibility is an important factor to consider before getting hitched? I believe every aspiring spouse would like to have mind blowing sex in marriage. Rather than trusting God and keeping themselves pure and chaste they submit to test driving each other to guarantee compatibility. Obviously not every test driven car ends up in the drive way of the driver. Putting one and two together, if I can test drive one car, enjoy the comfort without any obligation to buy, why can’t I enjoy the same experience with different models, shapes, sizes and color.In my opinion sexual compatibility is just a license to have sex without any commitment or strings attached. No two human beings are sexually compatible. It takes time, efforts, research and advice to be good at it. Sex as ordained by God should be practiced in the confines of marriage alone. Having said that, the question may arise as is sometimes the case, ‘what if a couple get married without premarital sex and 2 years down the line, their sex life has never been good and frustration creeps in? Definitely the familiar thought ‘we should have confirmed if we were sexually compatible before we got married’ would resound in their minds and be echoed by unbelieving friends.If this situation is your situation you shouldn’t give up, rather work together to improve it. I was raised in a religious home and sex was never discussed. I found out about it from peers, friends, films, books etc. I think the best place to learn and understand is in our homes and churches. Hopefully you are in a decent family and you worship in a bible believing church because you can equally learn the wrong things about sex from dysfunctional homes and churches. The bible doesn’t explicitly give details on how to go about it, it however clearly states that it should be done in marriage, between a man and a woman, and it should not be denied without prior agreements by both parties.Some of the factors that may contribute to experience unrewarding sex life may include but not restricted to the following:Childhood and upbringingCertain tribes see the discussion of sex as taboo even between couples. Kids brought up in this environment may end up believing the same thing. God created man as he said it was very good including sex. Caution however should be thrown in so as not to corrupt children. Kids should be told what they need to know about sex and relationships at the appropriate ages especially in our generation where pedophiles are on the rampage. If they are not taught the right things, they would pick it up elsewhere.Religious beliefsThe same situation above also applies to churches. The ‘holy art thou’ attitude prevents the discussion of sex and related issues amongst members. I wouldn’t be surprised if eye brows by people in that school of thought with the publication of this article.God is our manufacture so to speak, to be able to use the apparatus he gave us we need the manufacturer’s manual. If the purpose of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable.Ignorance is expensiveFor one reason or the other one or both parties may be genuinely ignorant about sex all it takes to have a fulfilling sex life. The male and female anatomy differs so also are their paths to orgasm. These details are not explicitly stated in the bible but information can be gleaned from books and probably the web. It doesn’t have to be pornographic it can be academic and purely informative. I almost freaked out when my wife took me to Ann Summers. I had to learn fast and well. It takes practice to be able to hang in there so you arrive home together. Naturally men are not like that, we just wanting to get home as soon as we can as the crow flies. To us foreplay is a waste of time.Both parties need to communicate their needs and seek ways to spice things up.Past relationships and experiencesEvents of the past may have scarred one or both parties and the thought of having sex only brings back sad and painful memories. They may have been in a sexually abusive relationship either as a child or an adult. Some tribes still give their daughters out in marriage at very young ages. It is possible that they may be haunted by previous sexual perversions. A woman’s first sexual encounter may not have been a pleasant one but it shouldn’t be a yardstick to measure future experiences.Whatever the case or circumstances may be God can heal every wound and hurt. He can wipe away your tears and give you a fresh start. Ask Him for forgiveness and trust Him to restore unto you the joy of His salvation.ImpotenceYou may need to see the doctor for advice on how to go about this. If this situation existed prior to marriage and the other party was left in the dark, it amounts to wickedness. However, a man can also by psychologically impotent if he doesn’t feel the urgent urge to merge with his spouse due to constant verbal abuse though he may feel airy in the company of other women. Get help quick!, phone a friend, try 50 – 50 or ask the audience.A man can be deeply bruised if he is constantly berated by his wife for under-performing and not meeting her sexual needs. It may probably can lead to a closed spirit. A wise woman would offer support and encourage In such situations rather than constantly nagging. He may have to dwell in the loft! You offer support and encourage one another by:Not raising the issue of lack of sexual fulfillment all the timeCommending efforts and progress made no matter how little it may seemSpeaking positively about the situation. The words that you speak are spirit and alive. As you continue to speak they would come to pass.Pray together and ask God to turn things around.Show your love to one another in as many ways as you can regardless of the situation.With God’s help, counseling sessions and lots of practice you’ll overcome. Don’t expect the situation to change overnight; it would take weeks or months. Once you reach critical mass, the sky would be your limits.Please kindly take the poll to rate the importance of sex in marriage. We appreciate you time.
Acne tends to occur during adolescent years beginning around age nine or so, and continuing throughout teenage years. Often times by age nineteen acne will clear up, but for some it extends into the adult years, even late twenties and beyond! Adult acne cure options consist of a large variety of different options. Most options could be combining diet, hygiene, and even the application of ointments and/or creams. Cures for adult acne tend to vary, but it depends on the severity of the acne cause for each individual.Acne usually is characterized by inflamed lesions, oily skin, blackheads and whiteheads, and yellow or red skin which is caused from accumulation of scars and pus. Adult acne cases could be caused from a large variety of different things, for example, hormones, stress, poor cosmetics and even birth control pills. Stress and hormonal imbalances tends to cause glands to over work themselves, and therefore they produce much more oil than they normally would. Birth control pills that have the ingredient androgen will actually cause breakouts, and poor cosmetics will actually increase the bad bacteria inside of your pores. Eek!Its really important to remember that adult acne will need to be treated very differently than teen acne would. So don’t fall for all of those TV adds and products promising to cure acne, most of those are targeted at teens. The adult acne cures that are offered over the counter will work for a majority of cases, but the more severe cases might need a skin care specialist or dermatologists attention. This tends to be very pricey.Adult acne scars probably will require a different kind of adult acne cure instead of the treatment options directed for active acne. Scars could range from being dark spots on individuals faces, to deep lesions just trying to heal. This is cause from acne maturing and trying to move out. Usually, mild or moderate cases of acne have positive reactions to over the counter adult acne cure options, but not always. The creams and ointments that include salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide found over the counter seem to be the most common options, but they also tend to be very harsh on skin. These creams and ointments are topically applied directly to the affect area topically, and throughout the day to control acne symptoms. The infected area should be clean and oil free to help you reduce the chances of more acne occurring.For treating more severe cases of adult acne, you might need a prescription from a dermatologist for anti-bacterial medications or hormone therapy. Laser light treatments can also help dry the skin to eliminate bacteria present that could cause more acne. To help you eliminate acne symptoms you should also practice a good hygiene method and eliminate fat, oil and grease from your diet.Adult acne cure options might take a while to be fully effective. Patience is very important when it comes to treating acne, results don’t often come quite as fast as we hope. Acne cure products that promise instant results usually aren’t healthy for the individuals and tend to be too harsh on skin.
Understanding sexual addictionSex Addiction or Hypersexual Disorder is the compulsive urge to have sex. We are created to have intimate relationships and sex is often part of this connection which between consenting adults can be very enjoyable. If you have an unusually high sex drive or are obsessed with sex, which dominates your thinking making it difficult to engage in work or healthy relationships you may have a problem. It may or may not involve a partner, instead multiple partners and will often include activities such as pornography, masturbation, voyuerism, visiting prostitutes and cybersex.The bottom line is if your behaviour is harming the quality of your life, then it is a problem, whether you call it an addiction, sexual compulsivity or something else. Similar to any other addiction like drugs, alcohol or gambling, a sex addiction will damage you and your loved ones. If you are married or in a relationship with someone who has a sex addiction do not feel guilty, they may lack a desire for you which will be impacting your relationship and making you feel hurt and rejected but remember you are not responsible for this or their behaviour.This subject is often hidden and shameful and can push people suffering with a sex addiction further into the Pornography Trap. The quantity of pornography that can be accessed through the internet means that sex addiction can become a problem where no previous risk factors are present. Sex is the No 1 search on the internet. It is estimated that 25% of those with internet access at work are viewing pornography during working hours, there are two pornography sites within the Top 50 for worldwide traffic, with 30 million people logging into porn sites daily.Despite the increase in pornography, sexual disorders have not been included in the new diagnostic statistic manual. The DSM5, which psychiatrists use to diagnose mental illness. It is deemed too controversial despite including new disorders like hoarding and binge eating.Am I a Sex Addict?If you have been experiencing any of these symptoms then you may have a sexual disorder:1. The Inability to control or resist urges. Engaging in high risk sex. Having sex in public places, multiple partners or paid sex. In these high risk situations you may not use protection and this will increase you risk of being infected with a sexually transmitted disease.2. Obsessive thoughts about sex which are consuming. You are unable to think about anything else and must satisfy your need to have sex. You may also experience an increase in other obsessive behaviours like compulsive masturbation in public or inappropriate places.3. To Relieves Stress. You may not necessarily want to have an intimate encounter with someone but escape the negative feelings you are experiencing or use sex as an avoidance from negative emotions.4. Detached from spouse or partner. You will experience a lack of desire with partner or spouse and may struggle with intimacy. Effecting you both emotionally or physically and you may experience impotence or premature ejaculation and other sexual related problems.Treatment of Sexual AddictionThere is often a period of preparation before you act out any sexual addiction. You will make excuses to justify to yourself why it will be OK, but understanding your triggers is key to overcoming addiction. Facing up to the nature of sex addiction will be painful. You may have to deal with some feelings you would prefer to avoid. A practical step you can take to prevent yourself from wondering onto any pornography sites or channels is to get somebody to install parental locks on your TV, laptop, computer and mobile phone device that you do not know the pass code for.However there may be a moment of weakness when a device is accessible.This single most important relapse prevention technique which I will share with you I have used for years and it never fails.RUN.Remove yourself immediately from any high risk or tempting situation. You will not have time in that moment to understand your thinking or remember what you have lost from your addiction so RUN as quickly as you can away from the problem. Despite the DSM5 not recognising sexual disorders, their are psychiatrists or psychologist who are specialised in treating this disease. If you decide you want to pull out the roots of your addiction, there is treatment for sexual addiction just like alcoholism any many peer groups, therapists and online help available.